Three Ways to Treat Yourself Kinder

"If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete." -Buddha 
 

A healthy lifestyle is more than just eating well and exercising regularly. You also have to take care of yourself emotionally. One of the best ways you can accomplish this is to treat yourself with respect. I will be the first to admit that I have spent most of my life failing at this. I have greatly improved my bad habit of treating myself poorly, but there is still more I can do to be kinder to myself. So, I have made a goal in this area of my life the same way I have made diet and exercise goals. I have determined that to treat myself kinder, I need to do three major things: encourage myself, celebrate myself, and forgive myself. I am no expert in the world of healthy living. I’m just an average girl trying to improve day by day. But from my personal experience, these are the three pieces of advice I could offer you. 

             

Encourage Yourself.

            Do away with the negative language: I can’t. I don’t know how. I wouldn’t be able to. I’m too fat. I’m too weak. I’m too inexperienced. These phrases must be crushed into tiny pieces and set on fire to allow for more encouraging, uplifting phrases to flourish. I have already made it a point to stop calling myself names. No more stupid. No more pig, idiot, or dummy. If someone else spoke to me that way, I would be horribly offended. So why should I speak to myself that way, and think it’s normal? Also, I would never discourage someone else in such a way, so it is absurd to do it to myself.

            We need to encourage ourselves to do well. You can. You will. Nice try. Good job. Maybe next time. You’re a badass bitch and YOU GOT THIS. Those are the things I always felt I needed to hear from other people to stay motivated. But guess what? It feels just as good to say it to myself. So, pat yourself on the back. Give yourself a pep talk. Tell yourself you can do it. Call yourself wonderful instead of an idiot. Encourage yourself to do well, and you will be surprised at how amazing you can make you feel.

Celebrate Yourself.

            Stop with the modesty shit. Dammit, I climbed that mountain and I’m awesome for it. I crushed that goal and I’m proud as hell. Maybe I didn’t do as well as I thought I would during that run, but I finished, and that’s pretty cool too. Celebrate the big moments. Celebrate the little moments. Don’t wait for others to celebrate for you. You know how hard you worked and how long you prepared for this success, big or small, so you have every right to celebrate yourself.

            Celebrate yourself in positive ways. Don’t celebrate with foods that will make you feel awful. Celebrate with friends. Celebrate with a new purse (or shoes). Go see a movie. Take a trip. Get your hair done. Celebrate in a way that is good for your soul. Don’t forget how great you’re doing and don’t wait for someone else to notice it. Remember, you’re a badass bitch. Treat yo’self.

"Believe in Yourself". Me in 2015.

Forgive Yourself.

            This one is the most difficult for me. I emotionally bully myself for things I did or didn’t do. I could have. I should have. Why didn’t I? If only. I have some shocking news, my friends: We can’t change the things we’ve done in the past. Hating ourselves for those things or letting them weigh on our conscience for days or months or even years is unhealthy. We need to let it go. I have had to forgive myself for some incredibly difficult things over the past few years. I can’t change the things I said or didn’t say to loved ones I’ve lost. I can’t change my actions during difficult situations or heated discussions. I can’t change the fact that I gained so much weight when I was pregnant or that I developed such unhealthy habits. But I need to forgive myself and move on. What I can do is work on who I am now to make myself even better for tomorrow. I can show the people in my life how much I care about them before it’s too late. I can be more self-aware when it comes to how I act or react. I can work hard to be healthier now. We make mistakes. We mess up. But we can’t dwell on those mistakes and bully ourselves for them. We can’t erase yesterday, but we can forgive ourselves and make tomorrow unbelievably great.